Eight months ago I graduated college without any indication of how hard the next year would be for me. I did not know how to plan for a season what seemed to be blank for me. I was full of question marks in all areas of my life that left me feeling lost and confused most days. This season has been the reason I even started up this blog so I had an outlet to share my emotions whether it be the reality of depression or the continuous fight of hope. As this season has continued I’ve grown to experience so many emotions that I can’t even put into words.
In May I decided to put a date on my next step with my future in mind. I made a proclamation that by June 15th I would have a job. I wrote it down in my prayer journal and prayed with a group of my friends over this date with absolute faith that my God would provide. Through out the last months, I had applied to jobs in my field but also one as a part time retail associate, just to keep myself from going stir crazy at home. Funny enough, I ended up having an interview for this job on the 14th and was offered the job by the 18th. When I got word that I got the job, I remember talking to God with mixed emotions. I was partially upset with Him because I thought God would bring me a job in my field where I could use my college degree. So how is it the one I receive by the date I was praying toward happened to be one that I didn’t have in mind? I believe God was teaching me a lesson. Maybe it was not what I expected but perhaps that was just it, I needed to realize what I expect to come isn’t what my Father has in store for me right now. He didn’t fail me, just failed to meet my expectation. I accepted the retail associate position and have been tested in my patience day in and out with it. Another thing, I believe that God wanted me to work on in this season. If there is any kind of job that will make you question humanity, it is definitely one in retail.
As time went by, I continued to apply to jobs in my field in my free time and continuing to learn the test of patience. I learned to shrug off the rejection emails and became numb to the No’s. There has been so many days in these last few weeks I just wanted to break down and give up from the feeling of discouragement along the journey of this season but thank God for the amazing group of friends he has placed in my life. My friends and family became the only sense of sanity for me, and for that, I am forever grateful. I feel like I had become so annoying with the need for a pep talk every week from my closest friends but they continued to help me remember that the waiting will be worth it and boy, were they right!!
*cue anticipation- high excitement music*
Last week, I interviewed with a hospital in a city a little over 20 minutes from my house. I woke up for the morning of the interview and did my ritual of interview days, reviewing all my notes on the hospital, played my “GO(O)D Morning” playlist, review potential answers to interview questions and prayed. I had this odd sense of peace however as I entered the hospital and even throughout my interview. I clicked with my interviewer so well and it went so smooth. I walked out the interview with belief that this job was mine. I even told my cousin at lunch that day that I would receive it and she told me not to get overly excited in case I didn’t but I just had this unbearing sense of peace that it was going to work out.
Today, I got a call from the hospital’s hiring talent agent offering me the job. As he talked to me about the continuous steps with hiring and my start date I just broke down crying right there on the phone. I ended the phone call trying to be subtle and not overly ecstatic but the moment I hung up the call, I broke down right there in my bedroom. Heck, even now as I type this, my eyes are filled, and my heart is overjoyed. It has been the hardest season of my life. These last eight months I have encountered the biggest test of faith I ever faced in life but to know that my God, my amazing Father, has yet to leave me empty handed but only come to be faithful until the end, man. I am beyond blessed today and I know that I wouldn’t have even made it here without his favor on my life. This is only the beginning.
So if there is any advice to any of my readers I can give, stay faithful. No matter how hard the fight is, no matter how many NO’s you receive. There is a joy coming. The journey is never going to be easy. You will want to give up, DON’T! You will feel alone but fear not, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God is faithful. His promise still stands and I assure you he is faithful til the end. Believe that.
God is soo good… Always!